For along time now I have carried my pain of Madelon's death with me. I has been so very hard, but I have come to realize that it is hurting my soul...I need to let it go. Madelon would not want me to remember her this way. I need to except what has happend and take the good and move forward. I need to live for today and keep my mind and heart on the future. That's what is happy and exciteing. Faith has been really hard for me, but I need to look forward with an eye of faith knowing God loves me and has blessings in store. I want to stop hurting and being depressed about what has happend. I can't do it anymore if I want to stay sane. she wants me to remember her but not to have what has happend as my focus and linger on it. She is my future and that is what I need to remeber. no more pain. Please pray for me that I will be able to do this.